Saturday, May 1, 2010

Clutch Magazine: What White Men Think About Dating Black Women

Clutch Magazine’s Alaina Lewis did a great piece on interracial dating among black women and white men. Several white men were interviewed, and let’s just say most of them (if not all) got more than a little real with their responses!

Alaina: Have you, or have you ever considered dating a black woman?

“I have, but it’s something that’s unfortunately never happened for me, because every time I approach a black woman I sense a resistance of not wanting to be with someone white, unless he acts black. And I’m not trying to offend anyone with my ‘acts black’ statement. I’m just meaning, that black women only want to date white men who have a little more soul than I do and don’t listen to rock music.”Paul G.

“I’ve dated African American women, Asian women, white women and whomever else. When you turn out the lights, they’re all just women. The only difference is, some like mayonnaise on everything, and the others like soy or hot sauce. A little joke for ya.”Rory H.

Alaina: Do the negative stereotypes the media projects on the African American woman scare you away from dating that race? ( i.e. “the black woman’s attitude.”)

“No, I don’t buy into any theories that attitude is more common among black women, there’s plenty of women with attitude in every race. I’ve met some ‘white trash’ princesses in my day with attitude that is off the charts. Anyway, the media just promotes whatever seems to get them the highest ratings. Unfortunately nowadays, that involves showcasing vulgar, loudmouth, self-obsessed, drunken skanks. Shows like the “Jersey Shore,” “The Real World,” and any other reality show on VH1 or MTV are prime examples. If I took my cues from the media, I would be scared of dating all women.”Jesse D.

“It’s not the media that scares me away from not wanting to date a black women, it’s black men that make me think differently. I say that to say this, and I’m only giving you my observation… I see a lot of black men running around with a white girl on their arm, which is fine, but when I’ve sat down with brothers and asked them why they don’t like dating black women, they always have something negative to say about you guys, whether it be your attitude, your jealousy, or the thought that you guys want to play the man of the house. I don’t need to watch to TV to see what I can see when I walk down the block. But I don’t have to buy into that either, which I don’t, but I am aware of what’s being said about yall by your own men. It’s a shame to see that.” Paul G.

More after the jump...


  1. those are good answers! more myths bashed!

  2. Looking at Paul G.'s comments alone makes me think of making a post out of that. The fact that he even pauses to listen to anything those black males, whom he calls "brothers", tells me that the anti-bw propaganda works. He may say he doesn't buy into it, but I don't believe him.

  3. @ GoldenAh,

    Yeah Paul G's comment definitely caught my eye. No matter what he thinks, he is being influenced by not just the negative media images but also the addition of what some of these black men are saying about black women.

    Couple that with the behavior and issues expressed by a good portion of Black women due to indoctrination and other factors, and it does make it harder to those who are BW who are interested in IR rlsps.

    However, I think the worse is having men in our group verbally knocking black women down in front of others. No other group of men do this to the extent that black men do it.

  4. I saw that comment, too, and, boy, does it make my blood boil.

    Our "brothers" want to make sure that we are kept down within the BC by diminishing us in every way possible, AND, also want to make sure that we have no other options available to us in terms of dating and marriage by giving us bad press in these conversational exchanges they have with men of other races.

    It's like, "Not only do I think you're no good, I'm gonna make sure everyone thinks you're no good, because that's just the way I roll". It's vindictive behavior, to be honest.

    It's kinda like having a press agent, but in reverse - he only plants negative news pieces about you, so that you are portrayed in the worst possible light.


  5. @ Goldenah,

    That would make a great post. On one hand, you have wm who say please don't believe the stereotypes about us,but at the same time, there are those that have no problem believing the stereotypes placed upon bw. SMH

  6. Press agent Ha, that's a good one!

  7. I find it interesting how everyone jumps on and blames "black men" and them wanting to "keep black women down" for the negative imagery of black women in this country and around the world, when from the BEGINNING of your forced arrival here it has been and stil is WHITE MEN who market EVERY DEGRADING STEREOTYPE of black women that exists.. In fact, they CREATED all of those stereotypes and profit from them & support their white families off of degrading black women. NOt a SINGLE rapper could bring derogatory images of black women in song or film to the world without the WHITE OWNED and operated record labels & film studios & distribution companies. Black men don't own these companies. White men pay those that do degrade us, quite well to do so. So are you just as mad at them, or is blaming the black man a way to ignore the rampant racism white supremacy that is still the horrid and abominable "norm" on the earth, so that you can justify wanting a white man? Or being in a sexual relationship with one? Hmmm.

  8. That is a great post. It's kinda like having a press agent, but in reverse - he only plants negative news pieces about you, so that you are portrayed in the worst possible light.