So Why Do YOU date Interracially?

According to Ownbla.com, interracial relationships are sexy, exciting and enlightening.  They're also different, that's what many singles are looking for in a companion. As human beings, men and women tend to become bored with the same routine. Whether it is their career, the food they eat or the significant other in their lives. When boredom is within the dating routine, American singles are more open to interracial dating.

Duh...tell us something we don't know!

Southern Blend: A Dating Experiment

Southern Blend is more than a documentary exploration of interracial relationships. The film will focus on a reality-style social experiment in which people will date outside their race or ethnicity for the first time, or cross racial and ethnic boundaries they have never crossed before in their dating life. Southern Blend will entertain and educate as it explores interracial dating in 2011 more after the jump...

Interesting!

Male Reader Wants To Start an Interracial Couples Group...But He’s In Omaha!

Hello my fellow swirlers.  Recently I received an email from a male reader that I wish to share with you. 

Joe from Omaha, Nebraska writes:

Hello, I came across your article about interracial couples.  I am white and prefer to date outside my race.  Although I see a fair amount of mixed couples here in Omaha there seems to be a lot of blacks, Hispanics and whites who don't accept it.  I thought about starting a group for people here that are interested in interracial dating but given the circumstances I'm not sure how well that would go over…

My response:

Hi Joe,

Thanks for writing!  You said that you've seen mixed couples in your area? Well that's a good thing! I wouldn’t focus too much on those who don't accept it because they won’t be your target audience anyway. Have you thought about starting a Facebook Group or a Myspace Page specifically targeted to those who have a genuine interest in IRR couples/dating? The Facebook option is great because you can get lots of group participation and designate people to help run your group and spread the word for future parties. This is also a great idea because your target area would also reach outside of your town/city. After you build up a fan base, take it to the next level: branch out into Meetup Groups and interracial parties!

So my DWB family, Is there anyone out there that can give Joe some advise?  Do you also live in an area that's not particularly IR friendly?  How do you meet people in areas that don't have a lot of  interracial daters? 

 

Looking forward to your responses!

 

I'm Out!

**New Blog Alert From IRR Expert Jeremy Nelson**

It's always such a pleasure to see new interracial blogs- especially from men.  DWB's good friend and interracial dating expert Jeremy Nelson is back...but this time with his own blog!


His first post titled "Straight From The Mouths of Women In BlackWhite Connections", speaks about what women want in a relationship.  Jeremy interviews several women who were quite frank in discussing what they want in interracial dating from the approach to kissing techniques.


So in the words of Jeremy, "Guys here's your chance to pay attention and get some insight into what our beautiful black queens are wanting and expecting from us, so PAY ATTENTION!!!!


I'm out!

VH1's What Chilli Wants: Rozonda Chooses....

And the winner is...


Rozonda! The show is picked up for Season 2.

Booo....

Has this been one of the most awkward finales ever? Why didn't the producers have the men stand in front of Rozonda butt naked, wearing bow ties holding flowers? Now that's a finale!

Two thumbs up for two white dudes making the cut. Two thumbs down (and a toe) for this weak azz finale.

That is all.

Mosey on over to VH1 to recap the whole season...

Let's Roll Out To Vegas Baby!

Las Vegas is one of the most culturally diverse cities in the US. So, if you are a single man or single women who want to date outside of your own culture/race then this Meetup Group is for you. 

Our meet up group is for singles who are interested in networking and mixers to meet singles of all races and backgrounds looking to meet singles like you!  This group also is for Couples already involved in an interracial relationship- Meetup Organizer Ms Kelly


The Interracial & Intercultural LV Singles and Couples Explosion (yep long name) is organized by social butterfly Ms Kelly.  Kelly who describes her race as chocolate (go head girl), has 5 great assistants known as the Leadership Team.  From the looks of past events, I can clearly say that there's a lot more to Vegas than casinos!  The group currently has 172 "something new members" and growing each day.  If you reside in the area or within driving distance (which is totally subjective) try a little something new!

Side note:  I'll drive all night for the right party :-D

Damn, the last time I was in Vegas I was on a business trip. I went to 3 casinos and called it a night (I hate gambling and smoke). Shew I couldn't wait to fly back to the North Click.  Had I known about this group...well just say I wouldn't have made it to one of those dry azz meetings.

I'm out!

Oprah and John Tesh Used To Swirl It Up

New book states that John Tesh & Oprah were a couple once upon a time.

Alright Ms Oprah. That's 2 out of 3...that we know of *wink wink*.

I wonder what Harpo gots to say about this right here? More after the jump....

*Meet Jason, The Face of Interracial Connection*

Riding on the growing wave of interracial sites is 28-year-old newcomer Jason, founder of Interracial Connection. Upon accessing the site, a feeling of community is instantly felt. Community quotes from notable scholars such as Cicero, Day, and Fuller are intermittently changed on the site's main page. Subscribers can share their creative side and are offered the opportunity to start their own blogs, thus giving something back to the “community”. The main page will also feature an ongoing comic strip centering on interracial couple "Jay and Nikki".

Recently I interviewed the creative force behind Interracial Connection and discovered what Jason hopes his site accomplishes for his readers.

DWB: Hey Jason, where are you originally from and what got you interested in an interracial blogs/sites?

Jason: I am originally from Claxon, Georgia. I was interested in not only interracial blogs but an interracial social networking site in order for people to share and discuss issues related to interracial dating, Help forums and also for the purpose of “Dating”.

DWB: Have you dated/married other races before?

Jason: Yes, I have dated outside my race for about 8 years now. I tend to date black women only at this point just as a personal preference.

DWB: What do you hope your readers take from Interracial Connection?

Jason: I hope readers and viewers can get an idea of what’s it like to date interracially to a certain extent. However actually doing it will only gain you that experience. But most of all to meet other like-minded individuals so they don’t feel like they’re the only ones with a specific preference in terms of dating and being physically attracted to the opposite race. Opposites attract!

DWB: What advise do you have for white men/black women in terms of connecting or finding each other?

Jason: The most important thing is give each other a fair chance. Put stereo types aside and just spend time with each other in an environment that is comfortable for both people. After spending enough time with each other, you’ll realize that you actually forgot what color they are!

Great words of advise Jason and words to live by. I look forward to the comic strip "Jay & Nikki".

Jason can be reached directly at the site or by email at support@interracialconnection.net

I’m out!

Guest Blogger Jeremy Nelson Reponds To DWB Readers

Dear Jeremy,
I am a black woman very open to dating white men, but I'm not sure why I'm not being asked out by any? I don't ask guys out because it's not my style. But how can I "encourage" them to ask me out? Help!

Anonymous March 23, 2010 



Thank you for writing in and asking this question.   It's the #1 question black women ask me or complain about when they are wanting to go in the direction of dating white men.  I think most black women are so used to black men approaching them and asking them on dates, they automatically assume that all men are like this.  So they start to wonder why white men don't do it although some of them seem interested.

Here's the thing ladies: white men in general don't know how to approach women or ask them for dates.  They don't know how to be straight forward and tell a woman that they are interested.  A white man may smile and he may even talk and have good conversation.  However they won't approach a woman.  White men are just as afraid to approach you as you are to them.

Some black women may find it difficult to approach a white man because she may think "What if this guy is racist, not interested or simply goes off?"  Since you said it's not your style to approach men or ask them out, get to know them and feel them out.  Smile at the guy and see if he smiles back.  Wave to him and say hello.  Make some light conversation and  let him know you're interested or like white guys.  That will let him know that you're interested or and open to dating white men.  So at that point it's up to him to take the next step and ask for your number/email or just straight up ask you out.  I would say that if you do these things and he still doesn't step up,  he's not interested.  So just keep it moving forward and continue to look elsewhere.  You will find one eventually if you stay on that path.  Now if you're online, make small talk with them and do the same things.  People seem to be more relaxed and chill online.  It's a good way to get to know them and feel them out.  This is great because you can do so without having to give any personal information out about yourself without really knowing anything about them.

I hope this helps you out and answers your questions!

If you have more questions, maybe I can do another guest spot here or you can hit me up on my Facebook page Jeremy Nelson or on Myspace at BlackWhiteConnections

Hi Jeremy,
Thanks for taking our questions.
 
There is a white guy that I like and I know he likes me too. The issue is whenever we meet up he wants to ask me very personal, deep questions. This makes me uncomfortable as I am not the sort to share myself so readily with someone I am not very close to, or whose trust has not been proven. This may not be an interracial thing, but just a dating thing. He is very handsome, well educated and a sweetheart, really a catch. Anyways, how can I let him know I am interested, but not interested in revealing the depths of my soul so soon? I have tried evasive actions, but he is so persistent we end up having a quarrel because I become annoyed. Thanks again.

Anonymous, March 24, 2010 1:40 AM


You’re welcome and thank you for writing in!

To be able to fully answer this question I would need to know exactly the questions he's asking because it's normal for people to ask personal questions when they are getting to know someone.  In fact that's how you get to know someone as well as build up and develop trust and the ONLY way to prove trust is to test it.  Now that doesn't mean you just meet someone and in the first five minutes it's okay for them to ask you tons of extremely personal questions such as sexual topics,  your phone number, rather or not you’ve experienced abuse as a child and things like that.  However IT IS normal for them to ask you things like, where did you grow up, what was it like growing up for you with x number of  brothers/sisters, do you have kids/how many kids, kids ages, your age, ect.  Sounds to me like you may have MAJOR trust issues and if this is the case you should deal with those before you step foot into the dating game and start developing something serious with someone.

Other than that, you’re meeting up with them and going places together, as well as talking on the phone, texting and emailing, that alone should tell the guy you’re interested.   However if he’s asking you questions to get to know you and you’re blowing up because you’re  uncomfortable with the questions, then that's going to tell him that:

a) You're crazy or have MAJOR issues and/or

b) Maybe you aren't as interested as you say or seem and aren't seriously looking as he is.

If you want to continue to get to know him or anyone else and you’re not comfortable with sharing certain bits of information, you need to tell them.  If they ask you a clarifying question to understand why you don't won’t answer certain things, then give them one.  Let them know that you would appreciate it if they respected you and your feelings enough not to go there.  Also let them know ready to you'll let them know.

I hope that answers your question for you and that I wasn't too harsh.  However  that's my style. I give advice raw and uncut in its purest form without a lot of extra things that can get in the way.   If you would  like to discuss this further, hit me up on Facebook
here or on Myspace at BlackWhiteConnections

In the online dating world I have received winks, and smiles, but usually no deeper conversation beyond that.  And a lot of these come from men in their late 50's plus.  Do I need to be the pursuer? Which is very tough for me.  I'd like to hear what I as a Black woman almost 40 need to think, do, in order to let guys know I am single, open to dating White Men preferably closer to my age (versus 55 plus).  And in person, I seem to get the smiles too and even the occasional hello's but nothing further, I am guessing it is me - but ... just not sure.

Anonymous March 24, 2010 9:09 AM


Thank you for writing in and let me tell you right now...IT'S NOT YOU!!!!

With these online single dating sites, a vast majority of the users aren't paying members. So basically all they can do is send smiles, winks and things like that. They aren't able to send an email to you or anything like that unless they are paying customers.  That's why on my site I'm going to set it up so that free members can send one or two emails per day to reach out to people.

Now I would say that yes, in some form you DO need to be the pursuer.  Many people online that are looking for someone on dating sites think all they have to do is post a profile, add a picture and wait for responses.  Now, if that's what you're doing it's not very likely that you're going to get many responses.  As  I said before, most members aren't full paying members and can't send you emails.  Also you're limiting yourself to the people who want to reach out to you. These folks may be dealing with their own issues.  Some of which may be not feeling comfortable about making the first move or not knowing what to say (don't you just hate filling out those blank profiles and figuring out what to say about yourself?).  So with online dating if you want more responses and possible dates,  you also need to reach out and be the pursuer as well.  Then let the guys email you!

Go through the profiles and see who you would like to get to know and actually read their profile so you can get a feel for them and be prepared to have something  to write back if you decide to email them.  When you email them just give a simple introductory  such as, how are you doing, my name is so and so.  I was going through profiles on here and I like what I see in yours.  I thought I would stop in to say hi.  If you noticed something in common with them on their profile, mention this then wish them a good day and wait to see if they respond.

Most dating sites will allow a non-paying member to send an email back should the paying member send out the initial email.  As far as letting guys know that you're single online that's easy because every site has a section asking if you're single, married, involved, or in a long-term relationship.  When they look at your profile they will know that you're single. Now as for letting them know you're single in person, smile, say hi and wave to them.  Strike up a conversation and let them know you're single and looking.  That will let them know you're available and that your interested.

If age and your openness to white men is important, place these points in your profile in the about me section.  Let them know exactly what you're looking for so there's no guess-work involved.  In person, be approachable smile, wave, or strike up a conversation to see If they are interested. If they are, then you can proceed about being single and not being able to find what you're looking for.  If the guy isn't picking up on your clues then make it plain to him and let them know that you're looking for a white man.  Because at this point he could be thinking  that you're just being nice and wondering why you are telling him all of this.  Once you tell him that you're only interested in white men a light should go on.  If he's interested, at that point it's up to him to take the ball and run with it.

As I said earlier most white guys don't know how to approach women or are terrified of doing it.  So the more you make things easier for them to take that ball and run with it, the better!

I hope this helps you out and answers your questions for you.  If you have more questions want to discuss this further with me I would be more than happy to.  Just hit me up on Facebook or Myspace .  I  will be more than happy to help you out as much as I can.

Hey Jeremy

I wanted to know what might be a couple of reasons that may stop a white man from asking a black woman out on a date although he is interested in her?

Anonymous March 25, 2010, 12:12 AM

Hey thanks for writing in with this question.  I'm surprised that I haven't been asked this one yet and I think it's VERY important for all of you beautiful black queens to know the answer.  Then you don't have to wonder if it's you or if white men aren't interested.

As I've said in some of my earlier responses and on my blogs, white men in general don't know how to approach women-much less a black woman.  There's also the issues of wondering if  you're interested or if you're a racist.  They're also wondering how you'll react if they choose to approach you first (such as looking at them crazy or going off).  Basically the fear of not knowing how you'll respond plays a big part in it.

Also there's the issue that perhaps his friends/family may be racist.  Then there's the issue of trying to explain his relationship to his family.  He may also believe that he won't be comfortable with some of the looks that the two of you no doubt will get while out in public.   And last but not least,there's the issue or concern of how your family will react and if they are racist.  You may be surprised of the war stories I have heard from other couples that have reached out and decided to go down this path.

I myself have never had anything extremely bad happen.  But  I will say that with every single black woman who I have dated over the past 12 years,  there has been at least one person that in her family that tried to step to me.  Most have been warnings like If I hurt her or don't treat her right they will beat me or even kill me and things like that.  I've never been the one whose been scared of threats.  Let's just say that I'm well known in the streets and every woman that's been with me has always felt protected.  Besides, I'm a gentleman and I don't treat ANY  woman in that sort of manner.  So connected friends and family members never had anything to worry about.

Thanks again everyone for the questions and thank you once again Selena for inviting me to do this guest spot on your blog.  Everyone, be on the look out for BlackWhiteConnections this summer because we are  doing some MAJOR things that have NEVER been done before and will blow your mind!

Jeremy

International & Interracial Meetup Groups

The Flavor Tribe: Flavor Tribe is a new social club that brings people together who are interested and involved in cross-cultural / ethnic/racial relations and relationships. Our gatherings offer a fusion of community connection and open discussion on the experiences, issues, benefits and challenges of those in the mixed couples/dating scene- Stacy


Flavor Tribe, a relatively new group, is organized and operated by a cute guy name Stacy. Stacy is serious about his club and he can be Twittered, Youtubed, emailed and found on three different websites. Flavor Tribe is also coming to Facebook. I told ya'll Chicago ain't playing lol

Women in Interracial Marriages To White Men Group: The purpose of this group is to bring together vibrant, successful, classy, sophisticated non-white women who are married or want to be married to white men.  There are numerous obstacles that women must overcome to make interracial relationships last and flourish, and we would love to share and learn from each other’s experiences to take our relationship to new heights. We would love to empower and enrich each other’s lives to move forward in a positive direction toward our goals, ambitions, and vision for our future. 

This group is also new.  They haven't had their first meetup yet. So if you happen to be in the San Francisco area, give it a go!

Boulder Swirl: Our membership includes parents, children, and interracial couples of multi-racial, trans-racial, and interracial identities in the Boulder and Denver area who share experiences, support one another, have fun, learn and come together to build a strong nurturing community.

They say Colorado is the place to be for interracial families. Let's prove them right!

Interracial Singles- Tired of all those old-timers afraid of "mongrelizing" the race? Want to join a singles group but one is either black or the other has only white people in it? Well, this world is too big to let our minds remain so small.- Cori

This group is in my neck of the woods. Interracial Singles is organized and ran by cutie-pie Cori. I must say that I'm really impressed with what she's done in such a short period of time.  Interracial Singles is VERY active and it's pretty common to see events fill up rather quickly.  Cori's group comes nothing close to what I've experienced in the past with other IR Meetup groups.  I signed up for the Indoor Skydiving trip and I can't wait!

A Black Woman's Guide To Dating White Men

Are you a black woman who's attracted to white men but don't know where to meet them? Have you often heard that a lot of white men find black women beautiful however you're still having a hard time finding them? In order to meet white men you may have to pull yourself out of your comfort zone. Do you happen to be someone who works in an office with NO men...or none that you have absolutely no interest in?

Are you one of those people who remain in a mobile triangle-work, home,church, or work, home, grocers? If you find yourself hanging out in the same areas day in and day out, it might be time to try something new. This also applies to white men seeking black women with no success. There are 4 great tips to help you get out of that dating rut and on to the man of your dreams. These tips are life-changing and may not be for the faint of heart.:

Broaden Your Horizons

Concerts, Sporting Venues, Clubs, Ect- Don't limit yourself to one genre of music. Explore music that's not exclusive to African-Americans. Visit concerts with artists that have a more diverse appeal (Nickelback, Fallen Up, Green Day). Attend sporting events that offer diverse activities (golf, tennis, hockey, baseball). There are also adventure groups that people can join as a way of meeting people. If you enjoy the club scene, frequent the ones that are also diverse. If you see a white guy that sparks your interest walk up to him and ask him to dance. You might be pleasantly surprise at his response!

Break From The Normal Routine

The Gym - Join a gym that's all-inclusive. If you don't have a gym membership think about joining one. Not only will you get a chance to meet some hot white guys you will get a chance to do something healthy and life-changing. However if working out at the gym is not your thing frequent fitness trails in the areas where the opportunity to meet white men is prevalent.

Shopping - Frequently shop in malls and shopping centers that are ethnically diverse. If you live in a multi-cultural neighborhood you're already ahead of the game.

Concerts, Sporting Venues, Clubs - Don't limit yourself to one genre of music. Explore music that's not exclusive to African-Americans. Visit concerts with artists that have a more diverse appeal (Nickleback, Coldplay, Maroon 5,). Attend sporting events that offer diverse activities (tennis, hockey, baseball). There are also adventure groups that people can join as a way of meeting people. If you enjoy the club scene, frequent the ones that are also diverse. If you see a white guy that sparks your interest walk up to him and ask him to dance. You might be pleasantly surprise at his response!

Take Action

Travel - Young single black women should travel abroad as much as possible. Not only will you be exposed to different cultures, it's just plain fun. As far as the cost to travel, there are many inexpensive ways too see the world. Many travel agencies offer discount packages and off-peak vacation passes. There are travel groups for black women going abroad and it's a wonderful opportunity to meet other open-minded people.

Sooo...
Why are you wasting your time reading this? Get out and start mingling at some of these hotspots. The only way to be successful is to go out and try. The world is at your feet!

**New Site Alert** Lovers of Vanilla

"This blog is dedicated to supporting black women who choose to date/marry outside of their race and giving them a peacefull place of private refuge,helping them climb the social ladder and to show them they deserve better and as for the non-black men who love us you are VERY WELCOME to send any enquires to me...NO HATERS ALLOWED."

Alrighty then...I love it LOL
ETA: Blog Site @ 12:53 am- sry my bad :->

3 Quick Tips To Ensure A Successful First Date

An attractive white man and gorgeous black woman walks into a crowded restaurant holding hands. As the hostess motions them to their table, a fair number of patrons began to sneak curious glances at the couple. As the handsome gentleman pulls out a chair for his beautiful counterpart, he's met with a few sneers from some of the restaurant goers.

When the beautiful woman sits down, the couple instantly become engaged in light conversation which includes looks of longing and laughter between the two. Although many of the guests grab quick looks of curiosity, the sexy couple seem oblivious to their surroundings. It's quite obvious they're completely enamored with each other. A first date such as this can be achieved by following 3 simple steps:

1. While on an outing together, realize that you're on a date with him/her...not the rest of the world. This is about the two of you. Put your best foot forward and just relax.

2. As with any other date, make the topics of discussions light and friendly. The general rule of thumb for first time daters is to stay away from politics, race, and religion. If you make it past the first date, you'll have plenty of time to talk about hefty issues.

3. Zero in on your date. In other words, focus on what your date is saying and try not to monopolize the conversation.

Glances of disbelief and amazement are the little idiosyncrasies that interracial couples are faced with from time to time. Yet the degrees of rubbernecking are often determined by the areas in which you may reside. The more culturally diverse the region, the less interracial couples are viewed as an oddity. With that being said, never let someone's discomfort deter you from choosing who you wish to be with. Nor let them ruin your first date!

Hey...What's Up With That?

Ok so I was over at Meetup.com earlier today because I received an alert about a new Interracial Dating group in my area. Well not exactly in my area...more like an hour away. Being the opportunist that I am, I jumped at the chance to sign up.

As I'm scrolling thru the member panel I noticed something vaguely familiar. Lo and behold the group has about 60% black women, 30% black men and 10% "others". Okay maybe not exactly 60% black women but there's a lot. The 10% "others" group consisted of white women mixed with a sprinkle or two of white men. So what's up with that?

 Approximately two years ago, I joined another interracial Meetup Group. In the beginning, it started out rather strong. The young woman that started the group was quite passionate about it. She planned several outings and posted several thought-provoking topics about race and relationships on the message board.

However the group had a less than stellar attendance rate on the days of the events. Whenever I was able to show up (another hour-long trip), the same sad people were always there: 3 women (2 white, 1 black), and this random black dude who looked like he stepped right off the set of Good Times.  So what's up with that?

In social network sites like Facebook and MySpace, the interracial groups for black women are staggering. There's always an overabundance of black women and a small number of men. So what's the use in joining when the ratio is like 10 to 1? Keep in mind after I posted an article explaining the "How To" date black women on another site, the majority of my readers were/are white men-as is my other article aimed at black women who're interested in dating white men. The most common searches/terms that are used to find the articles are "what types of black women date white men" and the ever popular "how to approach black women".  So what's up with that?

Sometime last year I joined a message board specifically targeted at black women and our issues. However I ended up canceling my membership because every time a subject came up about black women and interracial relationships, the topics were overtaken by a disgruntled troll black man who expressed how disappointed he was at the increasing numbers of black women who are choosing to date/marry non-black men. So what's up with that?

While it's true that black women and white men are dating and/or marrying more than ever, finding each other can sometimes be quite precarious and fruitless. Stereotypes faced by both have created a social barrier for some and uncertainty in most. However with the growth of technology and a range of never-ending choices to meet, the gaps are slowly closing between the two. With the proper mix of dating sites, niche groups and inclusive activities, your odds will should greatly improve.

Why Do You Join Meetup Groups?

The Secrets To Approaching Black Women

Are you a white man who's attracted to black women although you have problems approaching them? Frankly, approaching black women is no different from approaching any other women. However there are a few underlining issues which are affecting the way white men are dealing with interracial dating.

In my opinion, the reasons white American men find it difficult to approach black American women is partly due to stereotypes about black women. Unfortunately the stereotypes are distributed by mainstream media. Secondly, white men are often haunted by the "what-if" factor. The "what-if" factor is basically the fear of the unknown. Some popular "what-ifs" are: "what if she says no", "what if she laughs at me", "what if she doesn't like my white skin", "what if she has a boyfriend", "what if she only likes black guys" "what if she goes off on me"...well you get the picture. Thirdly, pressure from family and/or friends can sometimes be the cause for not getting involved with a black woman.

Now let's address these issues:

Stereotypes/Social Stigmas - Contrary to rap music, rap videos, VH1, BET and other "news-worthy" sources, black women are not gold-digging, over-sexed, man-eating hood rats. Nor do black women believe that every white man they come across sits on his front porch wearing a Klansman robe whittling wood. Until both parties understand, and acknowledge stereotypes for what they are, dating/marrying each other will continue to be difficult.

The "What if" Factor - Gentleman, rejection is a normal part of dating. You win some you lose some. Don't take it personal. For every black woman who says no, there will be 5 that will say yes. It's just that simple. Getting rejected by a black woman is no different from being rejected by a non-black woman. There are no 21 gun salutes, no fireworks and no explosions if a black woman turns you down!

Friends and Family - Pressure from friends and family is often the biggest opponent to white men dating black women. Don't fall into this trap and risk your happiness based on someone else's views and opinions. You may find yourself stuck in an unhappy situation always having regrets because you didn't follow your heart.

Ok now that we got the underlining stuff out the way, on to the secrets of the approach:

In general we (black women) are socially conditioned to believe white men aren't attracted to us. Many times we miss the subtle clues that white men give out because we're used to the aggressive approaches that black men tend to display. However black women all over the country are starting to take notice of these clues, opening their minds and are responding in kind! With that being said, let's discuss a few scenarios:

Scenario 1- Grocery Store:

Ok you see a hot black woman standing in the baking or pasta isle. As you approach her, make sure you're holding a food product in your hand. Start out by asking her a question about the product, such as "Excuse me, can you please give me some advise on xyz", or "Do you know how to cook xyz". Better yet, ask her an opinion about xyz product. Tell her you read a review on it and wanted to try it out. Another idea that works is to explain that your little niece asked you to pick up product xyz...or this is the first time you've actually cooked xyz... ask her for the baking time... so on and so forth. The point is, you're trying to make conversation without being overly aggressive or threatening. If you happen to be in the produce section, ask her if she knows how to cook fresh broccoli... or what's the difference between collard greens and mustard?. Tell her that you're a bachelor and you're planning a home-cooked meal for your mother... what doe she suggest you cook for the meal? During the little exchanges be VERY aware of her body language and her responses. If her responses are very short that means that she's either in a hurry or she's not interested. If she's giving you a lot of eye contact, smiling or trying to prolong her responses she's interested.

Scenario 2- The Mall/Clothing Store

Same premise as the above. You see an attractive black woman looking at clothes. You approach her with a sweater/shirt/tie. Ask her for an opinion on the style or color. Tell her that you got invited to a wedding... haven't worn a suit in while... how does xyz look on you? Say you're picking up something for a little brother, sister, a nephew. Anything that will give her the impression that you need her advise. Look for wedding rings, ring marks or any other clues that will give you the impression that she's single or interested.

Scenario 3- Eye Contact

Nothing irritates us more than a white guy staring and NOT saying anything (or staring and looking away). This is probably the biggest complaint that I hear from black women constantly. Fellas you have to master the art of "eye flirting". It's imperative if you don't want to look like a pervert or a loser. If you want her to know that you want her, throw a few lingering glances her way followed up with a flirty grin. Better yet, if you find yourself in awe of a beautiful black woman try the "triangular formulation". This involves looking at a woman eye to eye, then down to a woman's mouth and chin, down to the rest of her body and back up to her eyes again. Sexy!

In conclusion, if you're shy or are having a hard time meeting eligible black women in your area, try online dating sites that cater to interracial dating. This helps weed out the women who don't date white guys and saves you a lot of time and hurt feelings. It also builds up your confidence. Remember the purpose of online dating is to eventually meet someone. Don't use this method as a social crutch. Most of all have fun and don't take things personally!

It's hard meeting the right person let alone trying to meet someone whose opened to interracial relationships. With a little patience and putting yourself out there sometimes, dating can be a rewarding experience. Niche dating sites and interracial social events are very helpful and will ease any anxiety you may feel when approaching other like-minded people.