Thursday, February 18, 2010

Hey...What's Up With That?

Ok so I was over at earlier today because I received an alert about a new Interracial Dating group in my area. Well not exactly in my area...more like an hour away. Being the opportunist that I am, I jumped at the chance to sign up.

As I'm scrolling thru the member panel I noticed something vaguely familiar. Lo and behold the group has about 60% black women, 30% black men and 10% "others". Okay maybe not exactly 60% black women but there's a lot. The 10% "others" group consisted of white women mixed with a sprinkle or two of white men. So what's up with that?

 Approximately two years ago, I joined another interracial Meetup Group. In the beginning, it started out rather strong. The young woman that started the group was quite passionate about it. She planned several outings and posted several thought-provoking topics about race and relationships on the message board.

However the group had a less than stellar attendance rate on the days of the events. Whenever I was able to show up (another hour-long trip), the same sad people were always there: 3 women (2 white, 1 black), and this random black dude who looked like he stepped right off the set of Good Times.  So what's up with that?

In social network sites like Facebook and MySpace, the interracial groups for black women are staggering. There's always an overabundance of black women and a small number of men. So what's the use in joining when the ratio is like 10 to 1? Keep in mind after I posted an article explaining the "How To" date black women on another site, the majority of my readers were/are white men-as is my other article aimed at black women who're interested in dating white men. The most common searches/terms that are used to find the articles are "what types of black women date white men" and the ever popular "how to approach black women".  So what's up with that?

Sometime last year I joined a message board specifically targeted at black women and our issues. However I ended up canceling my membership because every time a subject came up about black women and interracial relationships, the topics were overtaken by a disgruntled troll black man who expressed how disappointed he was at the increasing numbers of black women who are choosing to date/marry non-black men. So what's up with that?

While it's true that black women and white men are dating and/or marrying more than ever, finding each other can sometimes be quite precarious and fruitless. Stereotypes faced by both have created a social barrier for some and uncertainty in most. However with the growth of technology and a range of never-ending choices to meet, the gaps are slowly closing between the two. With the proper mix of dating sites, niche groups and inclusive activities, your odds will should greatly improve.

Why Do You Join Meetup Groups?


  1. I often saw those dynamics in my "dating stages"...However, I made it a point to attend events where the menfolk would be in abundance...No sense in being in an environment with more than 50-55% women...There are establishments (besides the nudie where men outnumber us!

  2. Hey CW *internet wave*

    I've noticed throughout the years that women can be quite "clicky" and gravitate towards social events where there are lots and lots of women. We're social creatures by nature. We tend to bunch up when we're out and are puzzled when guys are afraid to approach us lol.

  3. well it sounds like the "nothing but a brotha" bw stereotype is not true.

  4. when will you update again your blog? can you do a post about ”inter racial dating”? thanks!