Can We Please Let It Go?

So I was invited to an interracial get together a few days ago.  I had an amazing time- great food, great wine, and interesting people. There were men from all walks of life: white collar, blue collar, computer analysis, teachers, and entrepreneurs.  There were various races present too: Caucasians, African-Americans, Asians, and Haitians just to name a few.   

But here lies the issue:

At one point during the evening, a young black woman leans over to me and whispers, “I always wanted to know why black men came to parties like this.” Then she glared over to the two black men having a lively conversation with three white women over glasses of wine.   I looked over at her and said “I’m hoping they’re here for the same reason you are…to meet people and fun.”  


Suddenly she snapped out of her fog like daze and said, “Um what I’m saying is, I’ve dated white men before…my last boyfriend was white, but like, since I’ve moved here, black men, don’t really seem interested.”  Now keep in mind there was a bi-racial man (Asian/Black) sitting next to her and heard our conversation.  He interrupts her and asks, “Then why do you care what black men are doing?”  So she spends the next 10 minutes trying to back-pedal her way out of the question.  However “bi-racial guy” still tries to flirt with her (hard too) but her head was still stuck on the “brothas” at the party-and it showed too!

Just to be fair, black women aren’t the only ones who just can’t let it go and move on.  I came across a very impressive website dedicated to Asian men and the women who love them.  It’s been around for about four or five years now.  There are active forums, galleries, and members can create individual blogs.  If you are in a relationship with an Asian man, there’s a support system in place where you can discuss cultural and relationship issues.  I believe the main purpose of the site is to reinforce positivity as well as uplift Asian men.  A concept I believe many would agree that’s needed in the Asian community.  


However, many of the Asian men spend most of their time on the site blogging about …wait for it…Asian women!  Topics like, “why are Asian women dating white men”, “we love our Asian beautiful women”,  “why are Asian women dating/marrying out” are blogged and discussed quite often. 


Of course the writers and forum members are met with the usual “you guys are so sexy there are plenty of women who love you and find you beautiful and yada, yada, yada.  In one of the forums there was even some talk about hooking up with white women just to get back at Asian women.  For a minute I thought I was on Black Voices or the Young Black and Fabulous site.  The similarities were uncanny.  How creepy is that?

At first I thought about joining but I asked myself why? Instead I exited the site thinking to myself, “Wow, is this how non-black men feel when they hear black women spouting off about black love?”

I'm Out!