tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post543880693181246809..comments2023-08-04T05:21:07.349-04:00Comments on Dating While Brown: Guest Blogger Jeremy Nelson Reponds To DWB ReadersUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-48390826668478173222011-01-03T21:25:52.728-05:002011-01-03T21:25:52.728-05:00My apologies, I realize I'm coming quite late ...My apologies, I realize I'm coming quite late to this convo.<br /><br />I have an issue with American white men, I too don't accept the white men don't know how to approach women excuse. I also don't accept the hard look on black women's faces bs either, I've watched white men approach ww,aw and hw with the snottiest looks on their faces. So I call bs again. I've XaiXaihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10500325463779443784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-38488193960835295352010-08-10T14:32:00.999-04:002010-08-10T14:32:00.999-04:00Cool post, bro!Cool post, bro!Datinghttp://www.luvfree.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-39205610127496339982010-04-04T22:19:54.769-04:002010-04-04T22:19:54.769-04:00@ Daphne
I'm sorry but I meant that message ...@ Daphne <br /><br />I'm sorry but I meant that message for Dawn and I inadvertantly typed your name.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-91792391019722760072010-04-04T22:02:48.127-04:002010-04-04T22:02:48.127-04:00I think some of you women are making this harder t...I think some of you women are making this harder than it should be.<br /><br />Just keep this simple fact in mind. If a man is interested, ultimately he'll find a way to pursue and express his interest. Our job is to accept or reject. I don't believe in women pursuing men. We can be flirty, friendly and receptive, but aggressively pursue? NO.<br /><br />Another thing is to not take "Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-10223454147464397932010-04-04T15:48:02.238-04:002010-04-04T15:48:02.238-04:00@Dawn
Cosign with what you said, but the question...@Dawn<br /><br />Cosign with what you said, but the question then becomes, do I stick to my guns and just forget that guy and wait for the next one, or assume that at least some of the other factors mentioned are in play, and try a little longer that I usually would?<br /><br />I don't know what I'd do. I guess it depends on the situation and my frame of mind at the moment. I might spend OceanDeepnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-65892189019510441472010-04-04T11:12:57.040-04:002010-04-04T11:12:57.040-04:00@Daphne -
I understood what you said; we're g...@Daphne -<br /><br />I understood what you said; we're good.<br /><br />And I still stick to my previous statement, too - it's not fair. It's not fair that BW have to try a little harder in that specific dating scenario. And it's not fair that we, as BW, can do everything right, and because of all the other peripheral crap going on in that "initial meeting" scenario, Dawnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-88020385509231356362010-04-04T10:45:52.855-04:002010-04-04T10:45:52.855-04:00@Anon April 3, 10:17 PM -
How stupid of me. I ju...@Anon April 3, 10:17 PM - <br /><br />How stupid of me. I just realized that you are only a troll, trying to start some stuff.<br /><br />And I took the time to reply to you....<br /><br />Well, hopefully, the blog owner will erase your comment and mine that refers to yours.<br /><br />Go somewhere else!Dawnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-42978502163988235192010-04-04T01:52:36.539-04:002010-04-04T01:52:36.539-04:00Hi Dawn -
Thank you for your response.
A coupl...Hi Dawn - <br /><br />Thank you for your response. <br /><br />A couple of things for clarity:<br /><br />You said:<br /><i>But, speaking of white guys specifically, yeah, you can say, "if he can't deal with his own issues and get past my issues/quirks/expectations/behavior when I first meet someone, then that's his problem because he's missing out." </i><br /><br />I NEVER Daphnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01503615085554461394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-83805059016022657862010-04-03T18:10:40.303-04:002010-04-03T18:10:40.303-04:00Hello, Daphne (I LOVE that name, btw - so chic) - ...Hello, Daphne (I LOVE that name, btw - so chic) - <br /><br />No, it's not just about us and our hangups, it's also about guys and their hang-ups.<br /><br />But, speaking of white guys specifically, yeah, you can say, "if he can't deal with his own issues and get past my issues/quirks/expectations/behavior when I first meet someone, then that's his problem because he's Dawnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-30273666434966969582010-04-02T22:47:58.789-04:002010-04-02T22:47:58.789-04:00Dawn,
Thank you for sharing your story. Your exp...Dawn,<br /><br />Thank you for sharing your story. Your experience turned into a wonderful relationship, but I think it also highlights that it's not just on black women and our hang-ups. <br /><br />You can do everything right, and he still may not take that next step. In some of these cases, it has nothing to do with the woman - it was the man's own hang-ups. That's fine, no oneDaphnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01503615085554461394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-30356094475914604422010-04-02T19:20:42.928-04:002010-04-02T19:20:42.928-04:00Excellent story Dawn,
I'm glad you took that ...Excellent story Dawn,<br /><br />I'm glad you took that extra step and I'm quite sure your honey is too. <br /><br />LOL at your friends given him the ole, "I didn't know you liked black girls side-eye" treatment. I love it.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing!Gloriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01742619542367946642noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-7245123247019240122010-04-02T14:03:20.351-04:002010-04-02T14:03:20.351-04:00@Selena:
I've seen that panicked look from wh...@Selena:<br /><br />I've seen that panicked look from white guys, too. They stare, you smile, and then it's like you can see them thinking, "okay, wasn't expecting that, now what should I do?"<br /><br />I'm in an IR right now that started the same way. When that happened, I smiled at him again, and said, "Isn't it a beautiful day?", because it was - we Dawnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-40692615950417128892010-04-01T11:09:23.440-04:002010-04-01T11:09:23.440-04:00Jean said...
As a BW, I can confirm that I also h...Jean said...<br /><br />As a BW, I can confirm that I also have THE LOOK. It is intended to rebuff panhandlers, scam artists, muggers, potential molesters, etc. And it works pretty well, I must say.<br /><br />LOL I'm privy to THE LOOK as well.<br />________________________________________________<br /><br />@ David,<br /><br />What about the white guys that stare at you as though they'veGloriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01742619542367946642noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-2621585906934060402010-04-01T02:13:00.090-04:002010-04-01T02:13:00.090-04:00@Jean -
I cosign your comment about weight. I ha...@Jean - <br /><br />I cosign your comment about weight. I hang around a lot of WM in their early 30's because that's the age of my boyfriend, and I can tell you, they are not going to be dating the big sisters. Not gonna happen.<br /><br />I hear BW say, "Why doesn't he make a move?", and if you saw the woman saying it, you would know why. Because 5'6" and 210 Lincienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-92125723909323146152010-03-31T16:47:31.665-04:002010-03-31T16:47:31.665-04:00NijaG said:
This definitely plays a part in the i...NijaG said:<br /><br />This definitely plays a part in the issue. Some of the BW I know in IR either grew up or chose to live in predominately white or very racially diverse communities. If they didn't, then it was either through work or various social settings (volunteer work, activities groups, etc). With the rest, it was through online dating.<br /><br />I'm involved with very diverse Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-10217876023056351192010-03-31T13:55:00.701-04:002010-03-31T13:55:00.701-04:00One more thing, as long as we're all being hon...One more thing, as long as we're all being honest.<br /><br />I have dated two white guys, and each relationship lasted a long time, so I hung around with his friends quite a bit.<br /><br />A certain percentage of white guys will date black women, and that percentage seems to be growing all the time. But only a tiny, tiny percentage of white guys will date fat women, no matter what their Jeannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-25537295629735502112010-03-31T01:34:23.807-04:002010-03-31T01:34:23.807-04:00Hey, Ann -
It's not a question of being "...Hey, Ann -<br /><br />It's not a question of being "chicken". We're not afraid of black women, despite what Jeremy Nelson wrote in this post. In fact, the whole idea is ridiculous. <br /><br />The point that these guys who wrote in are making are that they're anxious about offending the woman, or, that they're reading her body language as "not interested, stay away Gregnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-12624462841758062632010-03-30T21:00:07.227-04:002010-03-30T21:00:07.227-04:00No offense I nor my friends have ever said,
"...<i>No offense I nor my friends have ever said,<br />"Putting on our Hard Face." Different strokes I suppose.<br /><br />Ann</i><br />********************************************<br /><br />Great for you that you didn't have deal with certain experiences that made such a thing necessary. That phrase was a saying between me, my sisters and fellow countrywomen.<br /><br />These were myAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-72470498753848525642010-03-30T17:55:33.073-04:002010-03-30T17:55:33.073-04:00I also suspect that most black women and white men...<i>I also suspect that most black women and white men don't have many opportunities to interact on a social level, and that if they interacted as part of an organization or project, the walls would come down.</i><br /><br />This definitely plays a part in the issue. Some of the BW I know in IR either grew up or chose to live in predominately white or very racially diverse communities. If theyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-42094425276605794932010-03-30T17:39:33.734-04:002010-03-30T17:39:33.734-04:00@ NijaG...You are correct here:
"It is hard f...@ NijaG...You are correct here:<br />"It is hard for most non-black people to understand. Also, many AA men dismiss or don't acknowledge that many AA women have reasons for this armor."<br /><br />a.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-10825278459725145562010-03-30T17:37:26.047-04:002010-03-30T17:37:26.047-04:00No offense I nor my friends have ever said,
"...No offense I nor my friends have ever said,<br />"Putting on our Hard Face." Different strokes I suppose.<br /><br />AnnAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-78331686523395682542010-03-30T17:34:53.540-04:002010-03-30T17:34:53.540-04:00Hey guys,
lol, Man up! Why be a big ol' chick...Hey guys,<br /><br />lol, Man up! Why be a big ol' chicken?<br /><br />I sometimes do not realize a guy is flirting until we have parted ways. There have been a few times when I am preparing for bed and then it hits me, "That guy was flirting". Dog gone it! And, he was cute! If a woman's male family members or friends "step up" it simply could be they are concern for Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-18737895649319696492010-03-30T17:07:56.077-04:002010-03-30T17:07:56.077-04:00@ David
Thanks for adding your perspective.
Rega...@ David<br /><br />Thanks for adding your perspective.<br /><br />Regarding the "hard face" and "subconscious body armor" issue. <br /><br />Honestly as a black women who grew up in Africa, I probably would have had the same view of the "attitudes" of black women in America if I hadn't gone to a Historical Black College based in the black part of the city. <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-16737755518184854292010-03-30T16:22:25.805-04:002010-03-30T16:22:25.805-04:00As a BW, I can confirm that I also have THE LOOK. ...As a BW, I can confirm that I also have THE LOOK. It is intended to rebuff panhandlers, scam artists, muggers, potential molesters, etc. And it works pretty well, I must say.<br /><br />But I have to remember to turn it off, to go into safe mode when I'm talking to someone I might want to date. I go to my feminine state then, my happy place. Sisters, do the same. It has worked for me.Jeannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7058619082955664593.post-68774194856576019582010-03-30T15:38:47.532-04:002010-03-30T15:38:47.532-04:00I'm appreciative that other white men have chi...I'm appreciative that other white men have chimed in and given their experiences with asking black women out. I will personally have to assess if I have a certain look on my face or give off certain body language that white men may find intimidating. <br /><br />I also suspect that most black women and white men don't have many opportunities to interact on a social level, and that if Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com